Fantasy

Fantasy -
You are in your room asleep when you awake and sense that
someone is there. Suddenly you feel the sheets sliding off your body.
Fear grips you but you are too paralyzed to cry out. you feel a hand
softly caress your shoulders and lightly, feather-like, touch ease down
on to your breasts.

You are afraid but at the same time you feel something stirring inside
you. The hand just brushes your nipple and you catch your breath. You
feel your nipples swelling and your lips part with an uncontrollable
soft moan. You feel the hands softly slide across your stomach...down
between your legs which automatically part.

For a moment you have pangs of fear but then just as quickly the fear
fades as a finger gently parts the swollen lips of your now moist
pussy. You arch your back to force yourself against my hand as my
fingers slide up to massage your clitoris. Your stomach tightens and
your breathing begins to quicken. Suddenly everything stops.

Then you feel two hands slide around your hips and onto your stomach.
You feel the slight stubble of my cheeks on the inside of your thighs.
My hot breath on your pussy. Then my tongue parts the lips of your now
wet pussy. My tongue thrusts deep inside you as you arch your back in
ecstasy. My tongue slides up on your clit as your moans increase. Your
thighs tighten as you feel a stirring deep inside you. Your hands reach
down and grab my hair. Clutching it tightly as you begin to feel an
explosion start to form. My hands slide up to caress your nipples
sending quivers of pleasures through your body.

Then everything stops. You lay there panting...wondering what is
happening when you feel yourself being turned over on your knees. You
willingly put your ass in the air expectantly when you feel my head
sliding between you knees.

Trembling you lower your now wet pussy onto my face as my tongue begins
to lick you from your clit to your entrance. Your clit is rock hard
when my lips lock onto it sucking it gently. You feel a finger slide
into you as your clit is being sucked and your knees begin to tremble.
My finger glides up and gently slides into your ass, causing you to
gasp.

The waves of pleasure washing over you are fantastic. Your thighs are
contracting as you begin to get wetter and wetter...you breath is
coming in gasps as your moans become louder. You begin to rock back on
my face shuddering, as the feeling of my probing tongue grows more
intense.

I stop and slide out from under you. Your thighs are twitching...your
face is on the bed and you are gasping for breath when you feel my
hands on your hips. You feel my cock against you and then I slide it
into the torrid depths of your leaking pussy.

A moan escapes you as you raise your head in ecstasy. I grab your hair
tightly as I begin to slide back and forth in you. You thrust yourself
back to match my rhythm as I begin to thrust myself harder and faster.
Your breath is coming in short gasps as you feel my cock begin to swell
inside you. You feel small explosions going off inside you rising to a
crescendo as your climax overtakes you. Suddenly I thrust deep inside
you and you feel me let go with my climax. A loud moan comes from you
as wave after wave of pleasure engulf your body.

I slowly come to a stop. Remaining inside of you. Every so often my cock
twitches sending a shiver of delight through you. My cock slides out of
your soaked pussy and you collapse on you bed spent.

Then you feel my lips softly kiss yours. You taste the sweet saltiness
of yourself on my lips and then I am gone.

When you awaken in the morning you feel refreshed but wonder if it was
all a dream. When you clean up you realize that it was all real. You
look in the mirror and smile to yourself wondering if your visitor will
ever return. Then you remember that you never saw his face and he never
made a sound. You lie back down and stretch and smile...drifting back
to sleep hoping your mystery lover decides to return.

Love

....My love, for being near you and with you is one in the same as if I have been engulfed by a whirlwind or a monsoon of some sort. When I look at you I can't help but wonder if you can see me in the same light or if in any light at all. How painful is the quest for love when one isn't on the same path as the beloved. They say that looking through rose colored glasses can enlighten the senses and mend the heart. I say this is true, yet when I look at you through these same colors I feel uplifted and wish that I could share this feeling with you through touch and song. You are the true object of my desire. Many have fallen in love with the idea of having you in their lives.


What I feel transcends what is known as love. Is there such an existence? Can there possibly be something bigger than love? I can attest that this is a given. To me love is used to loosely and not taken too seriously but, I can truly say that you and I were destined to experience the true form and the highest quality of this gift. To be destined is a gift in itself and when our paths crossed on that warm spring afternoon I could feel the chords of destiny intertwining endlessly attaching themselves to my heart. Being blinded by your existence was blinding and mind boggling to say the least and with this you have taken my heart over and over again. When I say "no more.", you sway me in the other direction as if I am a blade of grass and you are the wind.

Dear love, how does one endure your trials, pain and subservient manor, ups, downs in and outs? One could only hope to master the technique and bottle it for a massive amount of monetary bliss. Instead you live inside of us changing us through out for the best or into the worst and nothing can stop you once you have guided us into another's arms. You have set wars, created families and destined men to a life of misery and lives of share euphoria yet you can not be determined or controlled by anyone or anything. How does such a thing have so much power as you do? Just like with any weapon you must be handled, used and put away correctly or someone could endure the pain of not doing so.

I surrender to you wholeheartedly and do with me as you please for no man can tempt to break your enchanting spell and why would they ever want to? You connect worlds and it's dwellers as a whole and give to us hope and salvation for with out you we would be destined to a dark existence.

sunshine

Today woke up to a bright day, no so cold in the morning... My thought about my lover still linger in my mind during last night dream about being with her. Yet she's so far away. I began walking to my backyard. Patches of clover leafs spring up the whole yard. So I began to search for the four leaf clover which signified lucky. But after a while I could not find none. Thinking to myself... She love me, She loves me not, She love me. As I pick off each leaf. Suddenly I feels blissful to come to realized that thousands of clover leaf with 3 leaves telling me that She loves me. Smiles knowing that all will be okay. Or maybe its was all in my head. Anyway head off to work as usual. Take my lunch break to visit her, it was brief, small talk, we kept our distance afraid that getting too close will cause either one of us to become emotional. Try to keep on straight face as if were adult and its just a small thing. But both of us know that we must be strong, else much more pain will cause for either one of us.
After finish my glass of water, I take my leave happily thinking this is probably the end of our relationship. Oh how much I would give to be able to hug and kiss her again. My heart began to ache and bleed. But knowing that she is probably feeling the same too, maybe even more. I felt her pain, but nothing I can do to heal or make it better. If I had known I would have give up my everything to make her feel better.

you see, I'm not smart or good at relationship, always causing things that make her feels uncomfortable, I don't think I am a bad person... Maybe its just that we been together so long that our flaw began to shown only to the one we love. And at some point its become unacceptable that we began to fall into the curse of pointing out mistakes of each other. Maybe we care about that person too much that we want to change them to be the "Perfect someone". Today I had time to catch up with Kathleen whom is very dear to me. My best friend. She understand the situation that I am going through. By talking with her I understand what is Hun feeling. Hun just want to move on, because at one point she just know that we were never meant for each other. Yet in the back of her mind, there is always a place for me in her heart. Hun know that I am probably a good guy, and a great lover, she dont want me to get hurt, and there is probably someone better for me out there. Its just that she don't seems to match with me to spent a life time together. And what hurts the most is that Hun make the decision yet I am still linger on.

As for me I am just going to focus on TODAY, in the present and make the best of it. I will not let the past drag me down, nor the future take hold of my path. Though in my heart I will always a special place for Hun. Perhaps this is a challenge or a test by the Goddess of love. To see if our love can withstand the turmoil of relationship. If it is, our bond will be stronger and more fulfilling. If its not then its wasn't meant to be.

In my mind, right now our stage of relationship is like 2 person mountain climbing in the winter snow up the highest mountain. Both of us are tied together by an unbreakable rope of fate. Our goal is to reach the top of the mountain. Though right now, She had given up, and its up to me to bear both of our weight and move on. I will not stop, stand still, and cry or weep because she had given up. No, I will fight this feeling of loneliness, bitterness and coldness until one day she regained her strength to find a new partner. But that's okay, because I was fortunate enough to found someone like her, though only brief moment together. Yet I feels very fulfill and happy for the entire life.

To the world Hun is just one person. But to me, Hun is the whole world.

The desert only rain one time out of many years, even life time. I was lucky enough to experience the miracle. Believe in it for I have seen it, Lightning does strike twice, so I will live on and hope for it till I grow old and die.

Rain

~Rain~ by Phong

"Heaven outpouring down
every droplets of tears
Promise thousands of blossoms"


Tonight at work I heard the sound of something strange, something familiar till I realized that it was rain. The sound of rain being projected by a powerful wind against the roof of the building. As I pay close attention to the outside, I began to hear the wind howl and the tree grow. Its as if the gods had felt my unease heart pain and share their sympathy. Its 1am and I am leaving work, as I get on the freeway during the storm driving cautiously at 50mph I began to notice there is only me on the freeway, there was so much rain that my windshield wiper could not keep up at max speed. Then I notice a yellow blinking lights in the middle of the freeway. I got concern so I decrease the speed to be safe. Just as I close enough I stepped on the Break very hard. Just barely enough cuz there was a car flipped over right in the middle of the freeway, while 2 other cars crashed on both side, left and right. Just up a head theres 2 car stopped that try to help the people who's at the incident. So I put down my phone and decided not to dial 911 since there is 2 car already helped. I began to drive home extra cautiously at 30-40mph.

Other than that today I began to do things that made me feels good about myself.
Clean the house, then clean my room.
Exercise, work hard till 1am
Read 5 chapters of the book 48 laws of Power
enjoy reading poetry during break at work.
And visit Hu'n because I know she was feeling heartbreak and lonely
I was too busy focus on building our future that left her alone feeling unappreciated and unlove. Its must have been why I've feels lonely and hurt as well. I just hope that she forgive me because I don't want to lose a best friend, a good cook, a lover or my soul mate.

dear journal, I hope to write everyday because sometime if we don't write we tend to think all the years had gone by was boring and filled with emptiness. But by writing each day, I think I can capture a spec of happiness during those lonely days.