++Dark Side

I used to be intrigue with the other side of the world untill today. I used to think its very glamour and fun and interesting and refreshen way; but I learn along with that come a very dark shadow that hid behind all this time.
I mean the police district and paid to look the other way, and the upper class paid cash to toy around with people hopes and dream. While young girls playing their games and hopes that one day they come out of the pit. And the ppl quickly sinking to the additives addictions to get the feeling of release from daily stress.
I felt that my level aren't as much as high as I used to think, and the cost is just too god damn expensive to afford such place. I mean minimum is 60$ tips, but yeah. Its funny how the very parking lot forshadow what happened. The lot was filled with mercedes, BMWs, and all other luxurious cars.. realizing to myself. I dont owns anything except 2 piece of cloth and this empty wallet. I see no future in this way of life style.
Its seems that a person can easily blow away a G a night.. yet the place was crowded. No matter how hard a I tried I cant seems to fit in unless I pretend. Yet I pretend because I know this may be the last time I ever visits here. So I smiles and enjoy the moment. That very moment gave me the feeling that I was wealthy, successful, player, simply a prince night out.
Funny how tonight changed everything, tho in Optimistic (spec) I see my self motivate again, so that I may achieve big and to be better. Better at finishing the job, better at persue my goals, better at success.. simply better of alone...
That girl, her name was Angel and... it very name forshadow the thoughts of winning her heart, because it's impossible. They said, when a girl look for a guy, she tend to look for the best out of all their is. and that night, I dont see myself shine out of everyone else.. rather I was the dull rock that lies beneath of all that need to get polish that one day I may turn out to be something.... Splendor
The reason I wrote all this is because, I got beaten, by a better man. I knew him very little, at first I judge him as if he is a normal ppl like me and you. Till I saw his beautiful looking girl friend, and his brand new lexus sport utility car still having dealer licent plate. He pretty much showed me his world and I wanted to thanks him for his generousity but I knew that wont happend anytime soon. He achieved so much, It make me wonder what the use of education. Why cant I be like him, going to that place every weekend.. for the last four years.. party the way he is.. dress the way he dress, and laid the girls he lay... He truely is the Player.
The more I get into understanding this world, the less I do not want to start a relationship with this specific girl, because she is too Pristine for any of this. I felt like it would ended up like something tonight.. something bad.
I just want to be happy and have fun... always... is there anyone out there seeking the same goal? probably everyone... yet when it come to very end... I walk alone.